What You Think You Become

February 5, 2015

The other day I was scrolling through old photos so I could try and decide what to do with my hair.. shocker, I know. I change my hair color more than I do laundry.

Anyway, I came across some photos of me (back in the blondie days) when I was approaching my first bikini competition. Mind you, this wasn’t too long ago – probably the beginning of October or so. But I looked SO.DIFFERENT. I looked freaking shredded. I didn’t think I had changed too much since then, which I really haven’t changed a lot, but I did look way more defined than I do now. Obviously, because that’s the point of competing. What was shocking to me most wasn’t how I looked, but I remembered what was going through my mind taking these photos.




These two photos were taken on the same day. When I saw them the other day I was like wow, I can’t believe how lean I was getting. But I remember taking it and while I was happy and motivated that I was making some progress, I knew I had more to make and I still wasn’t there yet. Looking back now, I’m like holy quad separation and oblique definition.


This photo was 2 weeks out from my early competition date, and 4 weeks out from my original competition date. I was sending this to my coach wondering if I could compete in the earlier show because honestly, I was just DONE with prepping. I wanted to just do it, and I was getting way too antsy. I was so nervous that he would say no I wasn’t ready, because I felt ready mentally, but kept thinking I wouldn’t be ready physically. Looking back now, I’m like HELL YEAH I could compete early.


And lastly, the photo I posted one day out. I was so hesitant to post this photo, because I didn’t think I looked good enough to be 1 day out. I kept thinking of all the other girls with 6 pack block abs that I didn’t have, or even leaner legs and thinking that people would say “she doesn’t look 1 day out or ready”. SERIOUSLY? I look ready. While I was thinking this, I also felt ready mentally and actually had a good mentality about it all. But of course, it is SO easy to second guess yourself, especially in this sport.



Lastly, on show day. Yes, I was ready, and yes, I was confident and loved the package I brought. However, being surrounded by SO many other beautiful girls that had worked so hard to get to that day as well, it’s still hard to shut your mind off and just be focused on yourself. At times I was second-guessing myself, and but overall I just shut my mind off and told myself YOU ARE READY.

When I first went out for novice I got like 5th or 6th callouts and felt so defeated. I kept telling myself “WTF are you doing, you shouldn’t have competed this early, you weren’t ready.”

It wasn’t until I was about to go on for my height class that I literally said “SCREW THIS, I’m going out on that stage and rocking the shit out of my posing and this height class. My confidence was beaming, and my entire mentality changed. And guess what? I ended up walking away with 1st freaking place. I still can’t believe it.

Even though I was actually really pretty confident throughout my entire prep, of course there were times that I would second guess myself and get caught in the comparison trap – and that’s mostly what it comes down to. Your mentality is EVERYTHING. If you have negative thoughts, you will start to believe them, and others will too. If you shift your mentality to positive and happy thoughts, especially about yourself, you will believe them. Because guess what? Our minds sometimes have a way of messing with us. There is nothing wrong with you, and there is definitely nothing wrong with your body.


Here I am, about 4 months post-show. Up about 7-8 lbs, a lot less defined, and a different look. Guess what? I love my body right now. I am confident, and I don’t care about the scale. I eat because it gives me energy and nourishes my body, and I exercise because I love it. Changing your mentality is everything – what you think, you become.

Be confident. Be Happy. Be you.


Have you ever noticed how changing your mentality makes the world of a difference?




    1. Mentality definitely makes a huge difference! You look amazing at each and every stage, but I think we all have that in the moment insecurity and then we look back and thing “Dang, what was I worried about?!” haha 🙂

    1. Great mentality, and I so agree. Reminds me a lot of how when I was putting on weight during/after my marathon (and I was doing it on purpose as well as just doing it), it was weight that I was happy to see–it meant that I have the capacity for change, and the capacity to accept it. Happiness is simply a state of mind–Perception meeting reality, and acceptance occurring.

      1. Same, I’m doing it on purpose but it’s great to know it’s not really bothering me!

    1. Very well said!! Your mentality is half of the equation. I am a great advocate of positive thinking and seeing the glass half full. Life is so much more exciting and fun when all is good. 😉

    1. Great post! I agree with you 100%. Feeling beautiful and confident has a lot more to do with mindset than with waht our bodies actually look like. Sometimes I see pictures of myself at times when I felt so “fat” and I think: “Wow, I really wasn’t big at all”.

      This post comes at the perfect time for me, as I just started reverse dieting. I know that the next few months will be hard mentally, but I will try my best to accept the changes with a positive mindset and not to let my insecurities get in the way of regaining my health.

      Anyway, blonde or brunette, competition lean or less lean, you always look stunning!!

      1. Right? It’s crazy how your mind can tell you one thing but you see another thing at a different time. Just goes to show you we are our own worst critics! I’m reverse dieting as well, we got this girl!!! Thank you beautiful!

    1. I can relate to feeling nervous before a competition(not figure, but running-wise) and always doubting myself. I told myself what you told yourself at the time; just fuck it, and rock it out. It always ends up better than you expect it to end!

      I think you look marvelous regardless of the fact you gained weight Brittany. You got character–that’s more valuable than a body. Besides, did anyone in your life really notice?

      1. Exactly!! Thank you. I am intentionally gaining 🙂 not really lol. I mean they know I’m not as shredded, but they haven’t really noticed or cared.

    1. Very interesting post! Great perspective. I agree, I feel like women all deserve to know and feel like our bodies are to enable us to live, not only to be objectified or looked at. There will always be someone thinner, taller, with leaner thighs…. and also on the other end, and we for some crazy reason compare ourselves to them! We deserve to love our bodies for what they are, and not what they look like. I agree, that perspective change leads to confidence which is a really beautiful attribute in people. It is something wonderful to define you, not your body!

      1. So true! Everyone is so different but beautiful in every way.

    1. The effect of mentality is immensely overlooked while – like you already said – it can make THE difference. Also, I know I keep saying it but you’re a true inspiration. I honestly doubt most other fitness competitors are taking such a lot away from the experience.
      It’s obviously not entirely comparable because one is about physical appearance and the other self-promotion on a professional level but I’m doing my best to approach my current application process that way. As in: thinking “heck yes, I’m the very best fit for this job” while I do in fact tend to feel insecure. I’ve been successful with tweaking my thoughts this way in the past so fingers crossed for now again.

      1. Thank you so much, love!!! I hope to be an inspiration to people, especially showing that you CAN compete and be healthy mentally and physically. You got this!!! Fingers crossed for you! xo

    1. But how?? How do we change our mentally, if we don’t really believe in it? Do we “fake it til we make it”? I’m really struggling with building my confidence and self esteem and although I’ve often heard to “think positively” it’s hard to know *what* specifically to think?

      1. Good question.. just start to change your mindset and think positively about yourself and life in general. Focus on the GOOD and things you love about yourself, and push those negative thoughts completely out of your mind. Your mindset will begin to change, I promise <3

    1. ” I eat because it gives me energy and nourishes my body, and I exercise because I love it. Changing your mentality is everything – what you think, you become.”

      Spoke out to me so much! Why must the world be so complicated and society play so many mind games with you all the time. It’s so frustrating and makes it so hard to recover.

      Could you maybe do a post on how to get more body confident and have more self-love? You’re amazing <3

      1. Right? So true. Yes!!! That’s a wonderful post idea. YOU’RE amazing! <3

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